My last entry.

   Well, if you have followed this blog throughout the past year you have read an amazing story, and a true story.
   Now a lot of you may see that I never finished this blog, my last post being in April, and it's simply because a lot of things happened at the end of NET that I wasn't too ready to write about. So let's fill you in. First, it was April 25 when I got the news that my biological dad who had been sick for the past 10 years was dieing. It was the 27th of April when I went home to see him and May 7th when he passed away. That was a lot to handle. 10 days with him after not seeing him since August and a year before that. Needless to say, it was difficult. I went back to NET though 2 days after to finish out my last week. To be honest, I partially didn't write a last blog because I didn't have much time to reflect on the 9 month journey I had been on with all of the present happenings.
   So here we are now. NET ended May 16th and I spent a few extra days in MN with my mom and step dad to get away for a little while. To be honest returning home wasn't difficult at first, I felt confident and secure and ready to take on the world. I missed my teammates but honestly was ready to move forward. June came and I got my job at starbucks back and then July where I found a romance pick up. The job I still have but after prayerful consideration a relationship I do not at the moment. Powerful to think about honestly because a year ago it would have been different. Let me explain.
   A year ago today I didn't know who I was, where I was going, or how loved I was and am by God. I was living a double life and had done a lot of bad things and made a lot of terrible choices against purity of heart, mind, body, and soul. To simply be able to write this today brings tears to my eyes for so much has changed. The person I was found who I truly am over this past year. I met amazing people, grew close to 8 other strangers who became my family, (shout out to Mack, Berns, Isaac, Beth, Sam, Stephen, Amanda, and Phillium) learned about love for myself, others, and God himself, developed a love for prayer (even when it is difficult), learned perserverance, patience, and obidience. I climbed mountains literally and figuratively, walked on (frozen water, thanks MN), took a leap or faith and went on a dating fast that I intend to keep till November, and among tons of other things found out that the love I had been so desperately searching for in my restlessness was real, and that it is in our Lord Jesus.
   Now although many things have changed there are still some things I still do not know, like where I am headed to next, or God's brilliant plan for my life. But what I do know is that I am right where I am meant to be.
   Being back from NET has not been easy, there are days where I don't pray and regret it and where I forget some of the things I have learned... There are good days and bad days and unorganized days. There is honestly times when i just sit in my room and cry because living a Catholic or even Christian life in todays world is so hard...But then there are days like today. Days that bring me back to where I was a year ago and remind me of how I want to keep going with the life I have now, the one rooted deeper in Christ.
   There is really nothing else to say and I don't know if I will ever fully be able to put into words what I do feel most of the time, but let me leave you with this. He loves you. On your worst days remember that he loves you. When you don't know who you are know that he loves you. When your happy, sad, confused, frusterated, depressed, downcast, giddy, childlike, angry, worn down, laughing or crying... he loves you. In all things he loves you, and knowing that love,  accepting that love, and owning that love even when all else is lost, will always pull you though. It's what keeps you safe, and helps you return to the place you know he always wants you, in his arms. He loves you. Know that, begin to know God, and you will begin to know yourself. Rest in the side of your Lion, you little lamb. Spend time before him, listen, and adore him in adoration. BE with him because he wants to BE with you.

Thank you for reading and that's it. I could keep writing but also cant... (it makes sense) haha. The journey continues. Praise God, sing his name; reach out and hold his saving hand forever. Know that I am still praying for all of you and your personal relationship with our Lord. Seek him, I promise it's not always easy but you will never regret it. There is more to this life and He is it. 

"You raise me up"- Josh Groban 

Love: Erika JJ Christopher

Happy eatser!!

Wild flowers

That's right kids, it's that time again! Time for a new blog post woo! Ya! Right on! Totally 90's! If you didn't get that reference then thay means that you are not my brother.  Anyways, in all seriousness, hi, thank you for reading and I hope you had a great March. My March was a bit crazy! 

For starters, I am officially going to be a maid of honor! My sister got engaged on March 14th and I'm extremely excited for her. My birthday was also earlier this month on the 16th and I am now feeling 22. Yes, I sang the tayswift song all day long. I recieved a package in the mail from my family and my mom even sent me a card containing clumps of my dogs hair inside. (Gee, thanks mom) I really miss my family. Also earlier this month I had the amazing opprotunity to visit Stevens point Wisconsin (phil's home) for spring break, as well as see Chris Tomlin, Tenth Avenue North, and Rend Collective in concert!!! This has been an exciting month filled with new adventures.

Ministry has been great though. I have continued to disciple young women closer to Christ as well as prepare my confirmation group for the upcoming ceremony. A part of me still can not believe that I will be leaving Forest Lake a little over a month from now. It has been a crazy ride but worth it... here is why...

To be honest everyone, this month was particularly difficult for me spiritually. I am overcoming a lot of the battle with my anxiety over the future. I found myself stressing and feeling like I had to have everything figured out; that God wanted me to have it all figured out. Well, my friend's, that wasn't truth. You see, I looked up what exactly anxiety was and what I came across was that it is a 'lack of trust for what the future holds'. Me in a nutshell, up until recently. I gave this to the Lord and began to see that he did not want me to feel as if I had to figure it all out. He wants me to live in the present moment; live right now. This concept is so new to me because I have never done it before. For as long as I have had anxiety I have felt that I had to plan the future, figure out the future, especially God's will. But what I came to find is that God's will is not only in my tomorrow's but in my today. Without living his will today, I will never get to tomorrow.

He says "Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin. But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like on of them." Mathew 6:28-29

I want to be as the wildflowers are and simply grow knowing the Lord will take care of me. I don't need to worry, for my future is in good hands.

One last thing, I encourage everyone to consecrate themselves to Mary. I did this month, and during some of my darkest nights, Mary was sometimes the only calming wind in the storm. It is true that she leads you closer to Jesus.

Please continue to pray for all of us here on mission. Thank you for reading and I hope you all are well. Let's stop stressing about the coming day and enjoy being in the sunset, for tomorrow will come, and when it does it will hold what we can not even imagine. Jesus, I trust in you.

Love: Erika

Seek Beauty

Discernment:
In order to make any decision, one must first seek the beauty in every option presented to him. For only by seeking the beauty in every possible direction, will one discover which beauty his heart was created for.

"Beholding your beauty is all that I long for, to worship you Jesus is my souls desire. For this very heart you have shaped for your pleasure purposed to lift your name higher"

Changing Relationships.

I wanted to just give a shout out to all the wonderful people the Lord has put into my life. The friendships that have past and the ones that still continue. Truth was spoken to me today regarding friendship and loss. Sometimes it hurts like hek when relationships change, but first off, God knows what he is doing. And second, just because relationships change doesn't mean the memories fade. God gave us memory for a reason, in having one we are able to keep the old memories with us but also venture out and make new ones within that friendship. New transitions in relationships closes an old chapter, yes, but also brings forth a new chapter that waits to be filled with new memories, just as good as the old.

"I belong to my lover and for me he yearns."

"I belong to my lover and for me he yearns. Come, my lover, let us go forth to the fields and spend the night among the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards, and see if the vines are in bloom, If the buds have opened, if the pomegranates have blossomed; There will I give you my love. The mandrakes give forth fragrance, and at our doors are all choice fruits; Both fresh and mellowed fruits, my lover, I have kept in store for you."
Song of Songs 7: 11-14

Woah. Wait a sec. REWIND!

Hey guys, so wow. Ok, I feel kind of embarresed. So I read over my blog post that I just wrote for February and at the end I realized one huge thing... I didn't even mention any of God's work in ministry, and that's terrible. Ha, I was far too wrapped up in my own self and didn't even mention it. Forgive me.
So here is what has been happening with ministry. Gosh it has actually been extremely beautiful. This half has truly shown the amazing works that only God can do. I have had the honor specifically to be asked to be a confirmation sponser, as well as be a small group leader to 2 amazing women's groups. The Lord has helped build such amazing relationships with these girls that sometimes I don't know how he did it. It is truly an honor to have these souls open up to me and to come to me about prayer and other life struggles. And the only thing I can do is lead them to Christ, and share his beauty and love for them; He does the rest.
This half I prayed to fall more in love with the ministry, to aquire a zeal for it, and the Lord truly answered those prayers. Seeing him work in the lives of these young women strengthens my own faith in him as well. He is such a beautiful mystery.
It wasn't until the other day when I found myself saying "God I don't feel like I'm doing anything here..." that God stopped me and I realized that of course I'm not doing anything here... He is. I can help with the mission, but only God does the moving, the working, and the transforming of hearts, not me. And so I am thankful for He Is. If I may ask, please pray for me for dieing to self. Sometimes it's so easy to get wrapped up in what the Lord has been doing in our personal lives and forget to praise him for what he has done through us, without us even knowing, and simply because He Is our God, and continues to love us still. Pray for me and know I am praying for you.

God bless you all,
Erika
"For i have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not from you; it is the gift of God."
Ephesians 2:8-10